How do you help the mentally ill?

I always wondered what in the hell was wrong with the families that were related to the mentally ill people that commit crimes. Like, where were they? Why didn't they get that person the help that was needed? You notice that when someone commits a serious crime, gets news time, they always go right to the family. They try to analyze what went wrong in that particular family to make someone do something so crazy.

It is something to think about. My sister has been mentally ill for probably her whole life, but had her first mental breakdown about 20 years or so ago. She spent some time in the hospital. She did her time that was required to get released, and be on medication so that she could be a functioning citizen again.

It wasn't long before she wanted to see what it would be like to go off her medicine because she didn't want to be on medicine. She didn't believe it was good for her. She was found after some time, in a very populated city, in the middle of a freeway, crouched down, praying. It's really a sad story, and it can tear a family apart. You can't argue with someone, or reason with someone that is mentally ill. I was blamed, and I am blamed for so many things that have gone wrong. When I was pregnant, I was blamed that I didn't come see her in the mental hospital. I was showing. I was worried to go to a mental hospital. I was worried that I would be attacked. I felt it was a valid reason. I will never be forgiven for that.

So many things have happened, here and there in the past 20 years, and you do tend to make giggles and slight jokes to break the ice when it comes to living with someone in your life with a mental illness, but clearly, it is anything but funny. It is heartbreaking.

My sister decided while we were away at the beach, (and while she was supposed to be at rehab) that she was going to be a part of our Christmas, in one way or another. Starting Christmas day, at 1230 in the evening, (you know, when you are waiting to play Santa for your kids?) she decided to call, and cuss me out, only she got my husband on the phone instead. He has a way of talking to her, and listening to her comments about there being "too much gas in the sky" or "seeing people, and all of them having black eyes", or "about how they are taking her blood, and mixing it with others, and intertwining it with others to take us all over"..without her hanging up on him. When she talks to me, or my mother, we are called obscenities. She decided that she would then call all night long, and then in the morning, when she realized mom was not going to wire her money, she would tell her she was the "worst mother, and that she was a fucking bitch." Merry Christmas. I have a mentally ill sister. Oh, and my mentally ill sister, is heavily addicted to street drugs. It's not a good combo.

I am airing my dirty laundry in an attempt to free myself from the guilt that comes with having "my shit together." I love my sister dearly, but I worry, as does my mother that that day we are all dreading is coming sooner than we have prepared for. That day where we get the call that she has done something stupid. Now, that something stupid could mean overdose, it could mean she got ahold of a gun and harmed others, but we know it is going to happen, and the worst part is we have no choice. My father has taken her to mental health weekly where they live, and sadly, it is a revolving door. They don't know how to treat her, or what to do with her. Sad.

New Years Eve, she didn't want to go unnoticed either. She decided to storm out of my elderly father's house, and sped down his road. Without her lights on. She barely missed crashing into a van, and over-corrected, and totaled her car into an embankment. The van driver called the police, she was arrested for reckless driving, and she got her very first DUII. She was to serve 8 days in jail. They ran out of room. The day she got out, she called my mother, and left her a voicemail. "Thanks a lot, Jeff." (that is my mom's nickname) Yes, because my mother, our poor, dear mother..she made you drive that night. She made you almost take another man's life who has a family. She made you snort that stuff up your nose.

Today, I was blessed with an unknown number calling my cell. I answered. I was calling a fucking bitch by my sister. This isn't a woe is me post. This is a lets get help for the mentally ill post! It's just a mess, and I don't know how to handle this anymore. My kids are affected by this. They want to know why my sister is in jail. I say, "Because she did not say NO to drugs." she made a choice to do something she isn't allowed to do.

Tonight, my mother told me she has made peace with her. She isn't going to be surprised when that next call comes. She said she will know that she is finally with Jesus, and she will be relieved.

I try to text my sister to go into rehab, and get the help that is available to her. She tells me to save it, and that I didn't know what I was talking about. Clearly, I don't. Right? There is no reasoning with her. I try to shock her with harsh things over texts, but then I am the mean one when I try to be blunt since everyone else uses kid gloves with her. She went to live with my dad to get better, and became addicted to meth, and married a man tha made her addicted to meth. Yes, I know she is the real one that is responsible for her illegal drug use, but when you are ill, and don't have the urge to fight, I have to find someone to blame. I have been writing this post in my head for about 2 weeks now. I just want her better, and I don't know how to make things better.