My daughter...

Is 4, going on 14, or 24, or I don't know? An age that she thinks it will be acceptable to talk back to me? There was a time that she was completely without a voice. Right after her heart surgery, she lost her voice due to being intubated. They called it vocal cord paralysis. There is a more technical term, I just don't want to take the time to google it. We were pretty scared. We didn't know if it would ever come back....stupid chest tube. We were told it was actually quite common in the wee ones since they are dealing with a vocal cord that hasn't had the excercise that an older baby would. She cried for all of one day after being born, then was kept very much sedated for 3 more days, then had surgery at 5 days old. I found her baby book the other night. I wrote down in it the day she got her voice back. It was at roughly 4 months old. Oh, she was able to communicate with us up until then, don't get me wrong.  She had a widdle raspy voice, like a mouse. The day she got her voice back, was the one of the happiest days of our lives. I can remember the night it happened still. I woke in the middle to use the restroom, and we nursed in my bed. When I got up to get a diaper, she cried. She cried loudly! I woke my husband up, and was like, "Did you hear that??  :)

Kate will always probably have a different voice. She has a raspy tone to her voice. It comes off as if she is recovering smoker if I am being honest. I don't know if she will ever hit the high notes if she tries to go out for chorus, but it is what makes her unique. She can be very sweet with her raspy voice. She can be mean as can be with that raspy voice.

Right now we are having a trying time with her, and her being mouthy. At the time she is mouthy, I find myself so frustrated with her. I want her to be respectful to me. I want her to NOT mouth off to me. I want her to learn from her mistakes. When she gets naughty, she needs to take her consequence for being naughty. I have just sat in the living room having a very soft, serious tone with her, telling her why she isn't going to get something she wants very much, because she was very naughty. She is choosing to yell at me at the top of her lungs, and she is convinced that the louder she shouts that she wants something, then I must give in to her then, right?

Sigh. They call it growing pains for them. But it is more like growing pains for me. I will choose to not yell at my daughter tonight. Oh, I yell. I yell a lot, more than I should at times. But not tonight. I had a bad week at work (it is still going) and I made a very big promise that I would not bring home my work stress this week to the house. I win for tonight. Kate will probably yell at me tomorrow for what happened tonight. Why did I type this story? As much as I can't stand her being mouthy, and as frustrated as my mouthy Kate can be to me....I can't help but be grateful she at least has a voice to be mouthy with. I just need her to tweek it a titch. :)