I feel like I have just been using this blog of mine of late to post doom and gloom. I guess that is what it is for, to vent, to release emotion, to get it all off my chest. I feel that I fail whoever reads it though. Maybe you come here to see pics of the kids, or to read happy posts. I have good things to post of too, but lately it seems the heavy stuff is outweighing the good stuff. So I guess what I am saying is, it may be some time until the good comes back, and if you would prefer to not read, that is ok too. I understand. I try to distance myself from "downer" people in real life..afterall, who wants to always be down about something? What is wrong with these people? Can't they see the silver lining in anything, ever? I do. I really do..but just when I come to terms with something, another whopper hits me in the gut.
We had snow this past week. Our first snow! Mike said that Maddie slipped off the back patio since it was so icy. I came home Wednesday night, only to see her limping. Not too bad, but enough to notice. The next morning she was much better, but still limping. I said if she was still limping by today, I would take her in.
I thought as I sat there they would say she has arthritis. I mean, she is going to be 10. 10 years is a long time in dog years to not have any health problems. They did x-rays. They show she does not have arthritis. She instead has bone cancer. What the fuck? Yes, I just said that.
So...I guess people bring their pets in when time has gone on, and the dog can't put any weight at all on the leg, or wherever they have it. We caught it super early. Yay for us, I think? So it really means that we have about a month or so left with her, vs the other people that would bring their pet in, only to find out there is really no time left.
So now I am staring at a few bottles of medicine, bottles of pills that will make her comfortable until she says it is time. Mind you, this is a dog that is happy, shows signs of nothing but a little limp, but is full of life. This will take some time to process.
2 comments:
OMG, HEATHER. I have tears rolling down my face right now...I am so sorry :( So sorry. I have no words, just prayers and I'm sorry's.
You know that feeling that you have right now almost made me decide to not get another dog....but I am so thankful that I did.....even with that pain, they really do bring sooooo much to your life, don't they? They really are your true best friends, your children, your confidant......they are everything. I am so soooorry. I hope 2011 is your GOOD year, I know no one who deserves it more.
Love you,
K
I'm so sorry, Heather! That does stink! Poor little doggy!
And vent away!
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