How do you title something like this?

My mom has breast cancer. Writing that out is so strange, so bizaar. I feel like I am floating around, and this isn't happening to her, to us, to our family. It isn't real, is it?

I feel like we dealt with such a huge blow losing my father in law, and yes we always knew that he would eventually leave us as he had hepatitis when Mike and I married..but going through something like that, you think...well, we were touched by cancer, we are now a statistic, we won't have to deal with something like that so soon again.

I don't have a lot of details, there are details, but it doesn't really matter what they are I am deciding. She has had the lump for a long time (it is coming out now as we get more information from her) and as angry that I am for her hiding it from us, I am scared as shit to lose her. My mother is a different cat...she has been for some years now. I have my pet peeves about her, I have my complaints we all seem to have about our parents quirks they have..but nothing in the world prepares you for the words: "I have cancer." I love my mother, and she has taught me so much about life. She has made me the person I am, and I am scared as hell to lose her. I know that cancer is treatable, especially breast cancer.....but being that she has been hiding this damned long, I am so terrified!

I have so much to say, so many thoughts, so many things to digest. We should find out soon what the plan of action is going to be. She has already been told that she will be going through chemo. Knowing that she will be sick from chemo, and knowing that she will lose her hair, and become so sick has me just so sad. So sad...

I don't even know now what we are going to do with Mr. Riley. I just don't know how much more cancer we can take. I was going to schedule his biopsy for next month, but dang...this is a lot to take in. A lot.