I'm stumped.

This post will not make sense to anyone at all..but I just have to get a few words off my chest.

Don't do it.

Don't even consider it. She needs her mommy, and you need her. Don't think you can't do it. You are strong..just think about how you may regret this if you do it.

The whole time I was in the hospital..hell..the whole pregnancy where we knew that there "could be" something wrong with Kate, I just kept thinking..just fix her heart, and I can handle the rest. Just fix her heart. Let her live. Don't let her die.

All of that time we spent gazing at her...looking into her eyes..holding her, loving her, all I could think about was the fact that she was mine. She's mine. My heart grew, and was throbbing. She is perfect to me. Once we got her home..and I slept with her all night long, my heart filled with love 100 times over.

I love this little girl of mine sooo much. They could tell me that she has something else that is genetic..or that she will never be able to have children of her own..I don't care. All that matters is that she is here..and she is mine. And her heart works, and that she is mine..I know..I already said that. I just don't know how people can consider doing things when they already know what it is like to love a child.

I'm stumped.