Matthew..

Was such a good boy tonight. I swear I had an impostor on my hands..lol! No, I know that is mean, but in all fairness, there has been some really rough patches with him the last few weeks. I think it is just him growing, maybe going through a growth spurt..plus the new daycare, and well, it hasn't been easy getting along with a mommy that has such raging hormones right now.
I picked him up tonight and asked him if he wanted to go get tacos..and he was so excited for that.
I had a mean craving for some hard shelled cheapie taco bell tacos since I haven't really ate anything the last few days and boy was it good! I got 2, but only ate one (started to feel guilty I guess! LOL!) and he ate a soft taco in the car before we even got home. He was loving it.
Once we got home, he was the sweetest little helper. Without me asking him, he dusted the living room coffee table and side tables with some baby wipes, and as I thanked him for being so nice for doing that, he said "You're welcome Mommy!"
Awwwww
So I hated putting him to bed, I let him stay up an extra hour or so just because it was sooo good to be with him. It was seriously as if he was an 11 month old. Just that perfect age without throwing any fits..he didn't get one threat that I was going to count to 3, not one time out..I just loved him this evening!
I hope that this is a trend! (fingers crossed!)
I didn't make it to work today as I had hoped. I stayed home because I just could not fall asleep last night. I think my body finally gave up at around 5:30 am, and there was no way I could go in on 2 hours of sleep. So back to work I go tomorrow. My throat hurts pretty fierce, so I hope that gets better only in time.
And then of course after work is going to see Be-bah. I asked Matthew tonight if he wanted to go spend some time with him tomorrow and he said he did. Then he asked me where Be-bah was, and I said at home..but with my voice starting to crack, I told him we needed to have a good visit since he is about to go to heaven pretty soon. It is so hard you guys. I am going in there not knowing what to expect, only to expect the worst thing imaginable. I keep thinking at night that I am going to get a wake up call at 2 in the morning telling us to come quick.
Mike is a mess. I was telling him things last night, and he is really trying too hard to put on the strong front. He has been exactly where we are now with when his grandmother passed away. He has been there when hospice has come in. I remember that drive to the nursing home the night she passed away, and even though we were just kids then (him probably 20, me about 17) I can remember how strong he tried to be, only to lose it when he saw her in her passed state. I fully expect to relive those same memories in the near future. His blood father has never been there for him, but his stepfather, this man..has been there for him when he really needed him. He was there to see him get married, he was there for the birth of our son, and now he just is going to have a really hard time. I have been praying alot to have God lay his hands on Dave so that his next passage in life is not hard, and I pray for my mil, and Dave's parents alot. I just need to really make sure that Mike is going to be okay too..
Ok..enough sadness for this evening! I didn't want this to go this long..I will write more tomorrow.
H