I am having a full on pity party tonight. I was excited to see my measurements on the fridge tonight that I had taken a month ago (exactly!) so I got the thrill to pull out my tape, and see how far I had come.
Fail.
I am exactly the same MOFO inches. I guess I can report that I have lost one measly inch off my thunder thighs, but that is it. No change in my ass. No change in my gut. My tits are still freakishly huge. I have two tree trunks for legs. Same size in the calves and ankles. I threw the measuring tape across the room in disgust, and it whipped me in the back as I hurled it.
Kinda like: Take that, you sore loser!
I left the kitchen in tears, and I am just so pissed off. I came here instantly to blog about it. I don't understand how I can be racing every freaking week. And, when I am not racing, I am walking my ass off at work, and after work, around the hospital grounds. I do at least 7 miles (in total, including walking to get my patients) every day, and yesterday I had a 10 mile day. What am I working for when I weight the same exact amount, and am the same exact size? It is so weird. Some scrubs are fitting me so much better, yet there is no number change, so I don't really understand. I am not over eating because of the fitness level. I watch what I eat really well, except for the weekends..I relax, but I don't gorge out by any means! It would in no way add up to 50K calories over the weekend to compensate for the lack of weight loss.
But, my endurance is insane. I do realize that. I understand that. I understand it when my sister tells me every weekend that I set a grueling pace. I get that I am doing things I could NOT do 6 months ago. I get that I feel better..not so much anxiety in my life..I get that I sleep better..or that if I don't get as much sleep as I would like, that I am not as grumpy the next day. I get all of that..but can't mother nature throw this fatty a freaking bone? I am so TIRED of being this overweight chump. I have worked so hard for freaking nothing it feels like. Yes, I posted such a happy post with pictures before this one..I felt so much better about myself then. Not so much now.
Signing off now. Booooo.
1 comment:
Its discouraging but keep it up. Your "at work" steps unfortunately while a great thing isn't going to help much with overall weigh loss as you are not getting your heartrate up. Since you already walk so much at work its status quo as far as your bod is concerned. If you got stuck sitting at your desk you'd see some pounds sneaking back on. You could try sneaking in some isometrics at work. You can do it!
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