My Anthem....

Feel Again/OneRepublic


I think that this song was written for me. I kid. But it makes me feel sooo good when I hear it. It is like my anthem. I was in a super dark place for a greater part of last year. Let's be real. I have been dark for a long time, but some days were better than others, so it made up for a lot of crap-shit that was going on. I know we all go through crap-shit, so I am in NO way saying I had it rougher than you..it is life. It is what makes us unique, and what "shapes us" they say. I don't really know for sure, but all I can say is when my Dr left, I felt just kinda lost. She was my buddy, and my confidant. There are people that come into your lives and you are super blessed, and at the time you don't realize how special they are. I mean, I did. I knew from the moment she joked with me for the first time that we were going to be life long friends. I had no idea until she left on how she had shaped me to be the person I was. She would always tell me that I brought something to the table that she hadn't thought of before. I had always told her it was her that made me see things differently too. She is deaf. She was an incredible doctor that everyone had so much trust in. If she wasn't the one I worked for, she would have been my Dr too, but we had discussed it wouldn't be wise to mix the two.

After she left, I just kind of floated around. We moved into our new clinic, and it wasn't "home" for me. I loved working in a brand new space--who wouldn't? It was immaculate. But, every single day, I walked in there, not really having a home. She came back in December, but then was gone again in January. The last 8 months were strange. Getting this new job means a new lease on life. I finally have a new direction of the way I want to go, and how I want my life to be. I am so much happier in so many different ways. I miss my girlfriend from work terribly, but lucky for us, we can kinda "skype" on facebook a few times a week, and we chat daily, via text, and work email. It isn't the same, and I am not even going to try to pretend it is, but I do know that I love her dearly, and I won't be that friend that says "Oh, we will still talk", but doesn't really mean it. We are working at making this friendship a priority.

And my Dr? She will always be called my Dr. :) We chat a few times a week too. I went up and visited her last weekend. She is a barista in her spare time, and she makes a pretty mean latte. So, I don't think I will ever NOT need a coffee. ;) But yes, back to the song...it is my anthem. It is what keeps me going every single day. I love it.