Might sound kinda goofy..

But I am having an ah-ha kinda night here. I guess that is the best way I can describe it. I am going to start a journal (a paper one) for both of my kids. I am going to start writing them letters when I just am alone at night, sitting here thinking about the things we did today. I want them to know how I am feeling, and what I think about how they are growing. I feel like in the past couple of days that I have really gotten (is that a word?) to know my kids. Matthew for example is growing so fast in the last couple of weeks--mentally. He is just maturing so much, and well, he is just fascinating. He continues to amaze me with his personality. I want him to know how truly proud of him I am, and how much in love with him I am. I just want him to grow up with respect for women, and I want him to be compassionate..he is starting to really show me how much he is learning about life, and from what I am seeing already, it is making me very proud. I am beaming with love for my son, and I want him to know how I feel at this moment in my life for him. He is a dang good kid, and I am so incredibly lucky he is mine.
Can I just say too that he is growing too fast? Gosh what I could give to bottle him up at this age and keep him like this forever. He tells me already that he wants to grow up, and be a daddy. That makes me feel so happy that Mike is rubbing off on him, and how he wants to be in a role model position. He is just a joy, and he delights me with his sense of humor. He always has a wonderful story to tell you, and he will tell you that it isn't real, but he makes a point for it to be pretty interesting. He loves his sister so much, and he talks to her in such a loving manner. He really just loves that she is here, and he takes so much time to play with her, and she is more than willing to chase after him now, and play with his big boy toys. I think he is in absolute heaven with the age she is now. He knows that he can play with her, and she is starting to "get" what to do with certain toys. She is also starting to be a little bit of a bully--in the cutest way ever to him. She pulls on the back of his shirt collar when she wants his attention, she tries to take toys out of his hands that he is playing with, and she CAN tug very hard..she has a strong grip, and it takes some good effort for them to figure out who gets to keep the toy. I already have to intervene at times and decide for them who gets to have it, and well, secretly I am having a ball watching these two!

Sometimes I sit here and wonder what the heck made me think I could ever be a good mother, but when I have a day like today, or the weeks that I have had recently with my son, it is very clear to me why we chose to have kids. Because they are the BEST accomplishments you could ever do in your life.