Surgery Day

We received news last night from the surgeon that he will perform surgery today on Kate, and that it doesn't have to be open heart surgery at all. He is going to go through her side, under her arm. We are so relived about that. The surgery including prep time is supposed to take 2 hours. The procedure itself is going to take under 30 minutes. I am a nervous wreck about it all. I have got to spend so much precious and tender time with her the last couple of days that I just am so terrified.
The surgeon that met with us is so nice and endearing. He held my hand and was so compassionate talking to me. I guess I expected a guy with a really big ego to come out and talk to me. Not at all. He was so wonderful to us. He is from the U.K. and said that he has been doing these repairs for some time. He fully expects that she will recover from everything and will go on be a healthy, normal baby girl.

Last night we went in to visit with her and I brought my 1 oz of milk with me so that they could have it as a backup for later on. When we got there, the nurse asked me if I wanted to breastfeed her and I was shocked. I didn't expect I would be able to do so until later. She latched right on though and went for it. I was expecting it to hurt, but it didn't. It was just sensitive a bit, and it felt nice. After she seemed finished, we fed her some milk I had brought down the day before, and she chugged it..then she finished the oz I had brought on down. She was s hungry girl! We burped her and decided she may have had too much so we were going to wait to top her off later.

I just love all of this time I had with her this week. It will be so hard to look at all the things they need to have in her for surgery. I am not prepared for it at all. And knowing I won't get to hold her for some time afterwards is killing me. I am just so thankful we have had such great moments leading up to this.

The best part is she totally knows her mommy now. She just gets that "oh, it feels so good" feeling on her face.
I can't wait to see her again today. My heart is so full of love for her.