Not the best news.

We had such a long day yesterday.
We found out that Kate has more things wrong with her heart than what we thought. She has hypoplastic aorta arch and also coarctation of the aorta.
She is going to need chest surgury to repair both of these a couple of days after she is born.
The doctors and staff up there are very nice, and encouraging, and caring. They walked us through everything that would happen. We got tours of the nicu, the picu, L and D, and where I will recover after she is born. I have a due date set for September 15th.
It took me forever to fall asleep last night as I was thinking about every little thing. What is going to happen with me after I have her, who stays with me? I don't want to be up there alone. But I also have to worry about Matthew. Who is going to watch my son when I am up there? I can't stay in the hospital forever, so I have to find a backup plan in case the Ronald McDonald house is full, or if they have a stipulation on how long I am able to stay up there. It is so much to think about. Mike wants to take the full 2 weeks off, but he can't really. That is okay, and I am not upset about that, as Matthew will need a bit of normalcy around the house and if he can at least have daddy a few days of those 2 weeks or so, the less interrupted he will be. Mike is just concerned if he does take the 2 weeks off, what will happen when this goes past 2 weeks, and she isn't home yet?
We are going to map out our plan today and get everything settled on what to do. I am going to pack my bags so that I am prepared.
I am already contracting hard, even though they are irregular. I was hooked up to the non stress test and had 3 really strong ones in about 30 minutes. I am also already 1 cm dialated. That is scary as I have had pressure down there, and now I know why.
Mike and I had a really good cry with eachother. I feel like I failed him as his wife, and he is so eternally grateful for all of the help we are getting..so we are balancing eachother out. He is so thankful and is feeling so blessed that every single thing that we thought was awful or bad at the time has happened for a reason.
If I hadn't been laid off, we would be paying astronomical insurance fees, and I wouldn't have thought to go to school where I learned so much about the heart right off the bat. If it hadn't been for them taking away my unemployment for 4 weeks, we wouldn't have been eligible for the health insurance we just got. I am going to have everything 100% covered with what I have now. That is totally amazing.

We got approved to refinance the house and car, so that is saving us about 500.00 a month right there. That will make a huge difference next month when we are having to travel and pay for hotels.
So in his eyes, he is so, so grateful for everything happening. He sees Katelynn as already being perfect. He feels so blessed that we get to have the best care in Oregon for her. Surgeons that have written medical journals are going to be the ones operating on her.
He works with a guy that is going to lose his wife any day to cystic fibrosis. He feels that we have so much to be thankful for, and the fact that Kate will be full term when she is born and not be a premie makes this so much easier for her. She won't have to fight as hard as some of the other babies in there.

My love for Michael is overwhelming. I love him more than anything in this life. I still get that butterfly feeling when I know he is coming home from work, and to just know how much he loves Katelynn already makes me swoon. He is what balances me. I am so scared at times I am going to lose him as things like this are what breaks a marriage. He assures me that he is in it for the long haul and to know I think things like that, makes him upset.

Matthew is going to be such a good man thanks to his daddy.